The eminent Victorian scholar Daniel M. Riess of the University of Texas offers the following remarkable and heretofore unpublished variant of Rossetti's Blessed Wombat. Says Mr. Riess: "I copied out the MS of DGR's poem The Blessed Wombat, which is here in Special Collections at the University of Texas. I should point out, however, that WMR notes in his autobiography, Sibling Parasite, that DGR revised the poem later in life and altered its title to The Blasted Wombat. I here use the latter version."

It should be noted that Mr. Riess is unaccustomed to the Texas heat . . .

(with apologies to DGR)

THE blasted wombat retched over
A railing up in Heaven;
His miserable state induced by
His imbibing with St. Stephen.
He dropped three goblets from his hands;
His blood alcohol was point-eleven.
He'd mixed chloral with nectar,
And paid a heaving price:
He threw up over Purgatory
And watered Paradise.
God then called Moses to prepare
A great plague of fur lice.
(For the wombat was hairy -- and short, and fat
Like any good Rossetti --
(One could denounce the foregoing
As Buchananish and petty;
But ill effects do oft result
From eating lard with one's spaghetti.))
He penned some obscene verse he called
"The Blessed Damozel"
He showed it to the seraphim,
Who let out a painful yell:
They seized the wombat all as one
And blasted him to Hell.