"How she hated soft dresses and sashes, and ribbons,
and small coral beads, and openwork stockings! Her
legs felt so free and comfortable in breeches; she adored pockets too, and
these were forbidden--at least really adequate pockets" (Well of
Lonliness,20).
Violet Antrim, Stephen's playmate and a model of femininity, "was
already full of feminine poses; she
loved dolls...'Mother called me a dear little housewife!'" To which
Stephen replies, " 'You're a dear little , that's what
you are'" (47). Wearing "extremely feminine
garb" is rare for most butches, and is seen as a form of "drag", "...Such
masquerading, however, did not throw the meaning of masculine identity for
women into question but rather reinforced
its 'rightness'; the fun and humor come from the dissonance caused by
known butches' taking on of feminine appearance" (Kennedy, 72). Stephen
shifts uneasily in her "feminine garb." She sometimes works within it as
chivalric butch hero: "Stephen loathed these excursions,
which meant dressing up, but she bore them because of
the honor which she felt to be hers when escorting her mother through the
streets...She would look right and left for imaginary traffic, slipping a
hand under Anna's elbow" (33). Or she "passes" in female drag until
old enough to choose her own
clothing: "She would go into Malvern that very afternoon and order a new
flannel suit at her tailor's. The suit should be grey with a little white
pin stripe, and the jacket, she decided must have a breast pocket.
She would wear a black tie-no, better a grey
one...She heard herself being ridiculously fussy about details, disputing
with her tailor over buttons..."(136). Stephen imagines herself in
certain clothing through the gaze of Angela Crossby, her first lover.
She dresses herself in masculine clothing,
which is construed as her longing to be male. But she chooses her
clothing as a woman wanting to please and attract another woman. "Butch
style...is a symbol of detachment. Dressing butch gives
the wearer the protection
of being the observer, not the
object...Butch is no coy 'come hither' look, but a challenge--'I see you
and maybe I like what I see'" (Chapkis, 127).
"'A young woman of her age to ride like a man,
I call it preposterous!' declared Mrs. Antrim"
Until her sexual passion for Angela Crossby forces her to re-evaluate the
ways her body betrays her, "Stephen's craze
for physical culture increased...Dumb bells appeared in the
schoolroom bookcases...everything went by the board but this passion of
the child's for training her body" (59). Stephen disciplines her body,
hoping to tame its internal demons.
Stephen would look at herself in the mirror, she would "feel
just a little uneasy: 'Am I queer looking or not?' she would wonder..."
(73).
A townsperson describes
Stephen, "A queer-looking girl, very tall, wears a collar and tie--you
know, mannish" (160).
As Stephen chooses a
gift for her first lover, Angela, "People stared at the masculine-looking
girl who seemed so intent upon feminine adornments. And someone, a man,
laughed and nudged his companion: 'Look at that! What is it?'" (165).