In a cobwebbed Mason jar you find a pair of dice and a crumpled piece of paper. It reads:

Ham: My excellent good friends! How dost thou, Guildenstern? Ah, Rosencrantz! Good lads, how do you both?
Ros: As the indifferent children of the earth.
Guil: Happy, in that we are not over-happy, on Fortune's cap we are not the very botton.
Ham: Nor the soles of her shoe?
Ros: Neither, my lord.
Ham: Then you live about her waist, or in the middle of her favors?
Guil: Faith, her privates we.
Ham: In the secret parts of Fortune? O, most true, she is a strumpet. What news?
Ros: None, my lord, but the world's grown honest.
Ham: Then is doomsday near.

You roll the dice. Double twos.